drawing the line

a lesson to be learned (thanks ale for reminding me.. her blog documents her pursuits in the design world and that kind of professionalism, at least for my blog, is pretty much hopeless at this point) ...

there's a new situation for me and a majority of my friends that maybe i wasn't clued in on... and maybe my friends know this more than i do, or maybe i'm just overly trusting and open with everyone i know.

professionalism. and behavior/composure in the office setting.

what does that even mean? why can't i talk about regular things with my "friends" at work? why should i keep it to topics like the weather or the upcoming office volleyball game. my instinct is to skip those topics completely for the sake of sincerity. wouldn't you rather hear about my laundry schedule? the number of new leaves on my plant at home? more seriously...

i have no idea what im doing... when will the identity crisis end?? i've found myself buying things to make up for it. i.e. shopping for clothes that i want to wear to work... maybe that is why people tend to be so materialistic, it's just a constant search for identity. hide me.

so the goal for myself this week is to not buy anything. mostly i'm broke, but i also have just been completely irresponsible with my new income. i'm even bringing lunch to work tomorrow, this is huge. let's see how i do. (am i even allowed to strike up conversation about my new goal for this week?)