9.27.2006

fotos de ninez

he estasdo pensando en como poder encorporar algo mas personal de quien soy en mis dibujos. en si, ni se donde empezar.

maybe in english

the obvious place would be to begin with allusions to my mother. but it's too much all at once. and maybe i'm more in a place where i'm ready to look forward. but as i've been trying that, it's nothing and means nothing to me. my work has been lifeless. it's been so damn frustrating.

honesty would most likely bring more life to it all, but i've hesitated because i'm afraid that i won't accomplish what i want. there's also the issue of what would be most honest right now.

if i were to immediately attempt a portrait, my skill with figures from imagination would come up short. drawing from photos has not been successful either, as far as creating a piece that takes composition, etc into account. round two, three, four.

so we'll see, in my sketches i keep incorporating drooping windmills. where from? kansas. but maybe that's not why they appear. in a painting i did something like 5 years ago, a flower that was printed on my grandmother's pillowcase reappeared again and again captured from my imagination. i think i still dream about it sometimes. comforting, it also has a smell attached to it, fresh sheets as i was tucked into bed around age 6. umm nostalgia.

i'll begin with childhood. de cuando era la nina de mimi y papa, cuando mi tio pepe me traia flores, y pasaba el tiempo con mis munecas en la casa de mis abuelos. ay, aveces me olvido de estos tiempos. tantas otras memorias de problemas con mi padrastro. como seran las memorias de mis hermanos? espero que tengan algo bueno en que pensar. espero que este tiempo duro no es lo unico que conoscan de lo que es una familia. cuando volveran estar felices??

salvasen quien pueda me canta ves traz ves juana molina.

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