castro's baby's mama
ay los viejitos! it makes me sad to see EL CAPITAN step down. castro's endless presence is such a major part of cuban, and american, political culture. It seems strange to think about being the generation that will be able to compare Castro's Cuba to whatever is coming for that little paradise of an island. obviously though, I have no clue what's actually going on in cuba, i've only ever spent a week there. but it's completely romanticized. it's this mystic place where my mom and aunts and uncles grew up climbing guava trees and teaching farmers how to read. how beautiful.
following castro's life has also been a way to keep in touch with my memories of my granddad. they would have been the same age, both nuts. now i'll just have to rely on food, music and a stiff cuba libre. i can sense my cuban-ness fading away! ?!que carajo es esto?!
it's pretty difficult to try to understand how the rest of my cuban family responds to the news. i never really sense any resentment towards him or the series of events that broke up the family during their youth and made them flee to north carolina in the late 60s. it might just be something better left unspoken during family get-togethers. but i'd like to think that, like me, castro symbolizes what's left of their memories of the island. I think it gets harder to remember their times as happy kids running around taking apart TVs or helping their grandmother sort black beans. but, in combination with those scary times being harassed about the whereabouts of their father and awaiting a visa to the states, conjuring up cuban memories becomes a big emotional gamble. aside from that stark work-ethic and strength in the kitchen, i think it's fair to say that their cuban-ness has faded quite a bit.
... unlike miami cubans, but i won't continue this topic. it begins another discussion on the varying levels of assimilation among cuban-american immigrants and the reconstructed memories of the younger generations. like me, admittedly.
my sadness also comes from the future images i've created in my mind of a country reconquered by capitalism, with its wealth stratified once again along the same seams of race and connections to american business. facing its inevitable fate. i'm completely pessimistic about cuba's future. but like most other political decisions and forecasts, it's just a gut feeling. (and my guts have shit for brains. (pardon the high fidelity quote, i had to.))
following castro's life has also been a way to keep in touch with my memories of my granddad. they would have been the same age, both nuts. now i'll just have to rely on food, music and a stiff cuba libre. i can sense my cuban-ness fading away! ?!que carajo es esto?!
it's pretty difficult to try to understand how the rest of my cuban family responds to the news. i never really sense any resentment towards him or the series of events that broke up the family during their youth and made them flee to north carolina in the late 60s. it might just be something better left unspoken during family get-togethers. but i'd like to think that, like me, castro symbolizes what's left of their memories of the island. I think it gets harder to remember their times as happy kids running around taking apart TVs or helping their grandmother sort black beans. but, in combination with those scary times being harassed about the whereabouts of their father and awaiting a visa to the states, conjuring up cuban memories becomes a big emotional gamble. aside from that stark work-ethic and strength in the kitchen, i think it's fair to say that their cuban-ness has faded quite a bit.
... unlike miami cubans, but i won't continue this topic. it begins another discussion on the varying levels of assimilation among cuban-american immigrants and the reconstructed memories of the younger generations. like me, admittedly.
my sadness also comes from the future images i've created in my mind of a country reconquered by capitalism, with its wealth stratified once again along the same seams of race and connections to american business. facing its inevitable fate. i'm completely pessimistic about cuba's future. but like most other political decisions and forecasts, it's just a gut feeling. (and my guts have shit for brains. (pardon the high fidelity quote, i had to.))
posted by cristina at 10:37 PM
1 Comments:
Hahahaha! Shitty guts. I think mine are like my dreams...confusing, but I try my hardest to trust them. You know, I see what you mean about fading identity...but it won't leave you. Especially not because someone is not longer a dictator. I think it will always be a part of you. Maybe I'm being innocent.
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